While i am typing, there is a certain problem that is running to my mind. I told myself that i should not blog about this cause this is not worth the effort and words. Yet i end up here typing.
I know you know that i am busy in my studies. The main course is our "Sensor and Indicator project". My group mate and i fought because of this:
Scenario:
Me: (Typing for our activity, approached him) "Uy gawa tayo bukas, para matapos na yung sensor, aalis pa ko dahil may practice ako with maam ng 9AM.Then we started fighting until the end of the class. We are 4 in the group. The girl member is for our docu. The other member, i donno if he is lazy or what, but we also fought yesterday cause of the project reason too. And him----ang natatangi kong katuwang said "I Don't like it and I'm tired". We suppose to pass the project today but our prof extend it until tomorrow. We are 85% done. Yet my coach said that we will going to have a practice tomorrow. So i have to make everything finish. My BFF/EFF told me that:
CM:"Eh!, ayoko kaw nalang!"
Me.: (I ignored). After a while (motivating myself that i can still convince him). "Anu?ayaw mu?..........."
CM: "Pagod ako!".(with that face!)
Me: "Anu pagod ka?, eh kamusta naman ako!, 3 am nagising ako para gawin yung project!"
CM: "My report ako sa friday!"
Me: " Malamang ako may BULPRISA di'ba?, ACES, BLOG(school org)".
Well i am tired. I don't like to be a Leader-Material. Can i sometimes say No. Maybe my decision to ignore our project (all though i am sorry) i have to stand this cause it's a way of teaching them that sometimes i get tired too. Compare to any other students i am not a normal one. I don't know why end up like this. I don't like this and i didn't asked. It's tiring and stressful. I was elected as the president of our organization at school. I was dreaming about this before---becoming the president, but as i journey in the previous years of my college life i learned that being a leader is not and definitely ain't easy.
My classmates avoid me. My other group mate said that "tama nga sila WTF ka". That sinked to my mind. We were grouping ourselves for thesis and our class had an open forum. I heared that most of them don't like me maybe because as my BFF/Eff again told me that i am
I'll just want to clear myself. I dictate people for a better outcome. I don't dictate them for my own good. I am perfecting mistakes for an excellence. I perfect everything for the higher perspectives. I don't do things without analyzing and think for the majority's best.
I also learned a quote from our school------Excellence in every Execution. So am i. I give everything in what i do. I do everything to give everything. I don't know if i am the wrong here or not. I also listen to them. If they say "I'm tired", I listen it's because i see their sacrifices---and i ask help because i also sacrifice and i wonder if they see mine. I am an organize person. I don't want everything to rush. Ayokong maging kagaya sa ibang group na kung kelan ang araw ng pasahan ang araw ng paggawa. Daig ng maagap ang masipag at matalino.
I want to explain myself more. I want to say more. But hindi kasya sa blog ko ang mga gusto kong sabihin. Well, at least i am thankful that i have a blog that helps me release my emotions.
